Meenakshi Saravanan

Saravanan thought they should go  out and get a hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate fudge or some thing like that at the Barista on the next block. It was a cold winter morning. Thick cloud cover had blanketed the warmth of the morning sun and the cold breeze made the weather gloomy. Yet the air was romantic. Meenakshi didn't know if it was the events of the last night or the weather itself that made her insides tingle  with excitement, leaving a strange but pleasant knot in her belly. The pores on her body were all open, making her more sensitive to the chill in  the air. A faint smile crossed her face and was soon replaced by a sheepish grin. She was, probably for the first time in her life, feeling shy.

The last one month had been crazy.  "Mental!!", as she liked to call it. It started with her parents looking for a suitable groom and ended with her marriage to Saravanan. No one asked for her opinion and none cared if she was ready. Ready to make the biggest decision of her life, ready to let herself be given away to a stranger she would only have known for a few days, ready to give up her ambitions,  her dreams and even her career if it came to that. A decision, as was always the case had been made and it was imposed on her. She cried, wailed and even refused to eat for a week but nothing was going to come in the way of this prospective alliance. Her dad would say to her, "Saravanan has done his Masters in Management from IIM and is going to head the Marketing division of Coca Cola. You should consider yourself lucky to land someone like him." . How typical of her family to say something like that. Her intelligence, her own Master's degree from IIIT counted for so little.

As the dreaded date for her marriage drew nearer her wails had turned into meek submission; her resistance into resignation towards her fate. Little did she know that the tide was going to turn, and very soon too. Her first meeting with Saravanan, what most people in a relationship would call a first date, restored a little hope to the dwindling faith she had towards marriage. Saravanan, though burly and athletic, was very kind. Courteous even. He had shown no hint of an ego and treated her with respect, as an equal. He had appreciated her academic exploits and was even open to the idea of her working after marriage.

Short meetings were slowly turning into fun dates and the typical hi hello conversations into stimulating, exciting and fun filled chats. With every passing day, Meenakshi was getting more and more used to having Saravanan around. The initial hate that had clouded her when the engagement was announced had now been replaced by a strange longing for him and his calming presence. She had a shoulder to lean on and a patient listener to ramble out all her frustrations to. She liked that and yet there was one thing that she still dreaded. There was still one thing, she feared, she might not have the stomach or the will to bring her self to do.

These thoughts raced through her head as she lay on the bed, feeling Saravanan's unkempt beard tickle against her belly, making her gasp. She watched him gently cajole her tender breasts and roll over on top of her. He took her in her arms, held her tight and whispered, "You know, I love you! Only when you are ready!". But her senses had given way to her anxiety and she could barely hear what he said. She shut her eyes and dug her fingers deep into his back as she felt him for the first time since they had been married. The feeling was very different from what she had imagined. The thought of an alien bodily fluid entering hers had been very revolting to her but when he did come, she was filled with a strange glow. She no longer had any inhibitions left inside. It felt like a veil had been lifted and everything that was still keeping the two of them at arm's length had vanished into thin air.

On the Royal Enfield Standard, as they were they were riding into the cold gloomy morning, it was the memories of the previous night that infused the bout of excitement in her. A strange urge to wrap her arm's around Saravanan engulfed her as she smiled sheepishly at how foolishly happy she felt at the thought of it. "Enanga", she called, just to see the cute smirk across his face. She put her arms around him, held him as tight as she possibly could without strangling him, climbed up on his back and whispered, "You know, I love you too!! I couldn't happier if I wanted to."

MainDuniyaKoBachaoonga - KahaniKhatam

The battle for Faltu jagah was won but it had served it’s purpose. An alarm bell had been triggered inside each one of the SaveYourSkins, warning them that their batteries were soon going to go out. All though MujheKushRakhna's foot soldiers were no match for them, they had left the quartet gasping for breath and deprived for energy and they had yet to meet their nemesis - MujheKushRakhna. MujheKushRakhna himself was not very surprised by the dent he had suffered in his vast ego. He had hoped to eliminate the SaveYourSkins in the Battle for Faltu Jagah but he was wiser than that. The fact that the Famous Four were at half steam and the bigger fact that he would have to step in to put an end to this madness once for all had boosted his spirits and he relished every moment of it. Days were spent upgrading is BattleMan 4.0, the most potent of all war machines built by man ever and nights were spent in a little merry making and plenty of rest. Once he was sure he could now take on the last glimmer of hope that the world had, he set up base camp at Maa Ki Aankh and waited for his prey.

Maa Ki Aankh, the place where it had all started was staring the SaveYourSkins in the face. MainDuniyaKoBachaoonga order his men to rest for a while and savor the splendidness that was MaaKiAankh. He told them "Gentleman!! Today we fight our final battle, today we either live to tell our extraordinary story or we die trying, today the world will rejoice or will be reduced to a lifetime of gloom! Today, we fight! Savor this sight my friends and fellow warriors because this is what we live for and this will help us bring light back into this dark dark world. Two large mountains were staring right at them; Danda I and Danda II, with rounded peaks devoid of any vegetation and yet alarmingly beautiful and clear. Inset between the two was the endless cave that was MaaKiAankh. A gentle stream of crystal clear water trickled down at it's mouth and the cave itself was surrounded by unkempt and yet thin layer of bushes. The savage acts of mankind had not diminished the beauty of this out of this world place. Somehow, MaaKiAankh was immune to humanity and it's generations of abuse. 

With a sigh the quartet rose from their slumber to meet their destiny. The trek to MaaKiAankh took them through a steep climb along Danda I. If the trek was not enough the SaveYourSkins had to make their way through a thick jungle guarded ever so closely by beasts no man had ever seen before.  Just as the quartet felt the ground leveling under their feet, they heard  a ferocious growl that made their hearts skip a beat. Without another moment's notice, a two headed beast lunged at them like a hungry dog on a piece of juicy red meat. MainDuniyaKoBachaoonga releases his powerful beam of blue light. It seemed to have little effect on the creature, which landed a little off the quartet. The next few minutes were spent dodging the massive bull like MaiTeriPhadDoonga. Finally GolBottom's courage faltered and he let out a wild and imploring plea, "Meri Mat Maro; I was only out to save this world". The words seemed to have a magical effect on the beast. The beast that once looked like it would tear them like pieces of waste paper suddenly seemed cute as the Cat from Shrek. Folding it's giant paws it bowed down in front of the SaveYourSkins and let them pass. Thus after a grueling trek and an almost annihilating battle with MainTeriPhadDoonga, the SaveYourSkins entered the MaaKiAankh.

Relief turned to despair, elation to anger and celebrations were circumcised when the SaveYourSins set foot on the holy grounds. MujheKushRakhna was there, right in front of them, loaded with the most fiercest weaponry ever invented, waiting for their arrival. His robotic voice echoed within the confined space of the cave when he spoke, " Mera paas, power hai, paisa hai, Duniya ka sabse khatarnaak missle hai, mere paas BattleMan 4.0 hai, bolo char chutiyon, tumhare paas kya hai?? Muahahahahahahaha!!!". MainDuniyaKoBachaoonga replied in an equally theatrical way that would have put Sashi Kapoor to shame, "Humare Paas Duniya Ka Dil hai!!"

With that Mahanaatma went charging down at BattleMan 4.0 trying to suck it's source of power out. What he didn't realize was his power was only effective against humans and was no good with metallic monsters like the BattleMan. MujheKushRakhna roared with laughter as his first card played out brilliantly. He let a short range cruise missile, one of many in his armor at Mahanaatma. Just before the impact GolBottom leaped from his vantage point to save his friend and fellow warrior. The missile rebounded off his ample bottom straight back at MujheKushRakhna. The impact had taken it's toll on GolBottom. Like liposuction does to body fat,  the missile ripped apart Gol's bottom, leaving only a kottori bum where just a moment before, there was a giant Kadai Bum.

With Mahanaatma and GolBottom out of the equation, it was now left to MainDuniyaKoBachaoonga and UskiDum to save the world and send MujheKushRakhna back to the pavilion with his swanky tail back in his bum. UskiDum caught MujheKushRakhna and his BattleMan 4.0 by surprise when his extended tail wrapped around BattleMan's leg and left them lying on all fours. MaiDuniyaKoBachaoonga   then used the momentary confusion caused by UskiDum and let out a machine gun like fire of his powerful blue light. The force field prevented the first few assaults but eventually it gave in to the power and might of MainDuniyaKoBachaoonga. As MujheKushRakhna tried to retaliate, UskiDum took his extended tail and obstructed MujhKushRakhna's vision while he carefully and stealthily wrapped his tail around the arms and legs of the BattleMan.

The next few shots from MainDuniyaKoBachaoonga were directed right at the heart of the BattleMan. Slowly, part by part the BattleMan started to fall apart. This had not gone too well with the evil warlord. When the final nail was drilled into BattleMan's 8 feet coffin, MujheKushRakhna leaped out of it's remains with a fierce roar.

Seizing this opportunity and in an attempt to redeem his pride, Mahanaatma started to suck the soul out of the evil dictator's body. It all seemed to work just like every other time. At least until the very last minute. When MujheKushRakhna's soul seemed to have been consumed by Mahanaatma, he suddenly rose back up from the dead. Alarmed and purely by reflex, UskiDum wrapped his gigantic tail around MujheKushRakhna's body and crushed him to death. Or At least that was what they thought. But MujheKushRakhna returned from the dead and was unscathed. MujheKushRakhna's laughter resonated within the cave. The SaveYourSkins were left clueless.

Surprised by this new development, MainDuniyaKoBachaoonga reorganized his meager ranks. While GolBottom deflected the powerful drone attacks MujheKushRakhna was sending their way, UskiDum on MainDuniyaKobachaoonga's orders wrapped up MujheKushRakhna in the deadly clutches of his tail. Mahanaatma then started to suck the life out of the evil dictator and when only 2% of MujheKushRakhna was left to be copied, MainDuniyaKoBachaoonga sent his jet of blue light straight at the evil war lord wiping his sorry ass into oblivion.

The Save Your Skins had come out victorious, they beat MujheKushRakhna, against all the odds. An evil dictator had fallen. A new beginning was waiting for the world. The world would once again be a free place to love in.

Epilogue

MainDuniyaKobachaoonga and the SaveYourSkins' rise to power got to their heads. The world enjoyed a brief period of freedom before yet another dictator took over the world. This time it was the one who had saved them. MainDuniyaKoBachaoonga's ideals and philosophy brought the world to a complete stand still yet again within the same century. With sanctions on use of petroleum and any anti-environment fuel sources, warring factions broke out between the environmentalists and oil barrens. The world was once again plunged into darkness with no hope left. It was apocalyptic.